Mike 
Two cars pulled up to the intersection at the same time. The first driver motioned to the other to go ahead. But the second car didn’t move. After a few seconds, Driver 1 gently beeped his horn as if to say, “You go first.” That’s when I realized that Driver 2 had missed the first signal because of the dark tinting on Driver 1’s windows.
I wonder how often something similar happens to church or ministry leaders. You’re convinced that you’ve been clear about direction or priorities or a specific step to be taken. And yet instead of movement, everyone seems to be sitting still. Eventually, you conclude they don’t know what to do, so you “beep” – maybe not gently – by giving a direct order.
It’s human nature to place blame on anything other than ourselves. So when staff or volunteers aren’t doing what’s expected, a leader is tempted to blame their poor listening or lack of competence or even outright resistance. And while any of those could be true, the best leaders first consider that the problem may rest with them.
So what should you do?
- Observe … with an open mind. Driver 1 had an immediate clue that something was wrong, but his beep indicated that he thought the problem rested with the other driver. Leaders need to know whether their expectations are being met. But if not, they need to be curious and inquisitive rather than immediately blaming others.
- Ask for feedback. Curiosity should prompt a leader to ask, “Why aren’t things going as planned?” Or even better, “Can you tell me what you understood that I wanted?” Genuinely asking for feedback from followers opens a dialogue that can produce greater understanding for everyone.
- Create short feedback loops. One of the common problems in churches and ministry is the length of time between giving direction and seeing results. Effective leaders create short feedback loops. They don’t wait until the due date, but instead get updates on progress. That enables them to make corrections or offer further guidance before others have invested countless hours of work in a misdirected effort.
