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	<title>trust | Mike Bonem</title>
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		<title>Be a Student</title>
		<link>https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/</link>
					<comments>https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mike]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Dec 2013 11:00:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Great and Godly Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non-profit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second chair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Team Building]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church consulting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[great and godly leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leadership team]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Bonem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[second chair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[student]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://mikebonem.com/?p=1468</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><![CDATA[]]></p>
The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/">Be a Student</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>				<![CDATA[<i><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="color: #000000;"><a href="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/imagesCAJENFLH.jpg"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1471" alt="imagesCAJENFLH" src="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/imagesCAJENFLH.jpg" width="264" height="191" /></a></span>In my </span></i><a href="http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=ntcqg8iab&amp;p=oi&amp;m=1109014350445&amp;sit=trxm4isgb&amp;f=a9ce803d-21ff-47df-b768-ac98f173d1cf"><i><span style="color: #0000ff;">November newsletter</span></i></a><i><span style="color: #000000;">, I briefly described three answers that I often give when I hear of tension within a senior leadership team. This blog expands on the first of those answers.</span></i>
<span style="color: #000000;">I don’t know how many times that a second chair leader has confided of a less than ideal relationship with a first chair: “We’re just not on the same page.” They are not saying that the relationship is broken, nor are they saying that their boss is a tyrant. They’re simply saying that the levels of trust and teamwork and shared decision-making are not what they’d like. </span>
<span style="color: #000000;">In these situations, it’s tempting to put all the responsibility on the first chair. After all, he or she is the one who decides how much to delegate to others. But my first bit of advice puts the burden back on the second chair: <i>be a student</i>. Be a student of your first chair leader. The more that you can understand him or her, the better you’ll be able to get on the same page and thrive in the second chair. </span>
<span style="color: #000000;">I remember seeing the counter-example of this played out in on one staff. The first chair led the weekly staff meetings. Some weeks the meetings took all morning, as the team joked and talked and argued, and the first chair joined right in. But other times, it was obvious that he had something else on his mind, and he wanted to finish the meeting quickly. I say it was “obvious,” but apparently it wasn’t to one team member, who wanted to talk and argue just as much on these days. Had he simply been a better student, he would have earned much more respect from the first chair.</span>
<span style="color: #000000;">Here are some questions that a good student asks (and answers) about his or her first chair:</span>


<ul>
	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What kind of news most excites him/her?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What kind of news puts him/her on edge?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What kind of rhythm does he/she prefer in meetings? For example, start with small talk or dive straight into the issue(s)? Send a list of topics in   advance, have a written agenda, or keep it more free flowing?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">Does he/she make decisions quickly or slowly? What factors are most important in these decisions?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What qualifies as “important” information that needs to be communicated immediately?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">How does he/she prefer to receive bad news?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">How far can you run on your own with a major decision? When do you need to check in?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What is the best way to earn trust?</span></li>


</ul>


<span style="color: #000000;">I’m sure that you can think of many more questions. Never stop learning &#8211; keep asking and answering.</span>
<span style="color: #000000;">Here’s one final thought: This is a relationship that is not symmetrical – you have to be a student, but you can’t demand that your first chair do likewise. Just do your part, and see how much your relationship improves.</span>
<em>It&#8217;s easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner by</em><i> </i><a title="Blog sign-up via Feedburner" href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=MikeBonem"><i><span style="color: #0000ff;">clicking here</span></i></a><em>.</em>]]&gt;		</p>The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/">Be a Student</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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