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	<title>second chair | Mike Bonem</title>
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	<title>second chair | Mike Bonem</title>
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		<title>Leading from the Second Chair &#8230; with a New First Chair</title>
		<link>https://mikebonem.com/leading-from-the-second-chair-with-a-new-first-chair/</link>
					<comments>https://mikebonem.com/leading-from-the-second-chair-with-a-new-first-chair/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mike Bonem]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Sep 2023 22:01:57 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Great and Godly Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second chair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leader]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ministry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pastor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[second chair]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://mikebonem.com/?p=6142</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Second chair leadership can seem like musical chairs when there’s a transition in the first chair.</p>
The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/leading-from-the-second-chair-with-a-new-first-chair/">Leading from the Second Chair … with a New First Chair</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></description>
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<p><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="size-medium wp-image-6136 alignleft" src="https://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Chairs-300x200.jpg" alt="Second chair leaders in transition" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Chairs-300x200.jpg 300w, https://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Chairs-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Chairs-768x512.jpg 768w, https://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Chairs-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Chairs.jpg 1920w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />You probably played musical chairs as a child. You may still have flashbacks to those anxious moments before the music stopped, wondering whether you&#8217;d be able to find a chair. But at least you knew the rules of the game.</p>

<p>When a transition of first chair leaders takes place, the rest of the team knows that the game will change, but they’re uncertain what the new rules will be. Leadership transitions can be particularly difficult for second chair leaders as they try to understand and adapt to these new rules.</p>

<p>For executive pastors and many others on a team, leadership transitions may create one of four confusing scenarios: </p>

<ul class="wp-block-list">
<li><em>Diminished responsibility</em>. A high-capacity leader may have had significant responsibility and autonomy under the previous senior pastor. But the new senior pastor either wants to be more involved in decisions or takes on some of the tasks directly. The second chair experiences this as a lack of trust, but the reality may be that the first chair has never worked with an executive pastor or wants to understand how the church functions.</li>

<li><em>Actions and words don’t match</em>. Second chairs who have worked with the same first chair for years can almost anticipate what their boss thinks or wants. When a new first chair arrives, the learning process starts over, and wise second chairs pay attention to everything they say. So it’s confusing if the first chair’s actions don’t match their words. This may seem like hypocrisy, but the new leader may just be processing their uncertainty out loud.</li>

<li><em>New direction</em>. Some new senior pastors arrive with a clear sense of direction and priorities, either as a result of their own prayerful assessment or a mandate they received when they were hired. If the second chair was not part of these initial conversations about direction, they may feel like they’re playing catch-up, especially if they believed the church or ministry had been moving in a positive direction.</li>

<li><em>Relational shifts</em>. Obviously, relationships will change with a transition in first chairs. But second chairs often don’t think about the many different dimensions of change: communication styles, meeting frequency, speed of decision-making, and much more. The new leader may be more private or more open about their feelings, may be more or less encouraging, and will have different hot buttons. These differences are not good or bad – they&#8217;re just a change from previous norms.</li>
</ul>

<p>None of the characteristics and behaviors described in these scenarios are indicators that the first chair is wrong for the role or that the second chair should develop an exit strategy. But they can be significant stress points in the early weeks and months of a leadership transition.</p>

<p>In these moments, adaptability and relationship building are essential. Second chair leaders need to hold loosely to their old play books. The phrase “this is how we used to do things” should be said far less often than “help me understand” or ”tell me more.” Time spent getting to know each other should be given equal footing to time for making decisions. The simple guidance in James 1:19 &#8211; “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” &#8211; should be top of mind. And throughout a season of transition, every leader should take advantage of their greatest resource, the wisdom and peace that is promised to all God’s children.</p>
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				</div>The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/leading-from-the-second-chair-with-a-new-first-chair/">Leading from the Second Chair … with a New First Chair</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Be Patient</title>
		<link>https://mikebonem.com/be-patient/</link>
					<comments>https://mikebonem.com/be-patient/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mike]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Dec 2013 14:15:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Great and Godly Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non-profit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second chair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Team Building]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church consulting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[great and godly leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Bonem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[partnership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[second chair]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://mikebonem.com/?p=1480</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><![CDATA[]]></p>
The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/be-patient/">Be Patient</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>				<![CDATA[<i><span style="color: #000000;"><a href="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/untitled1.png"><img decoding="async" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1481" alt="untitled" src="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/untitled1.png" width="227" height="222" /></a>In my </span></i><a href="http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=ntcqg8iab&amp;p=oi&amp;m=1109014350445&amp;sit=trxm4isgb&amp;f=a9ce803d-21ff-47df-b768-ac98f173d1cf"><i><span style="color: #0000ff;">November newsletter</span></i></a><i><span style="color: #000000;">, I briefly described three answers that I often give when I hear of tension within a senior leadership team. This blog expands on the second of those answers.</span></i>
<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">How long did it take for the relationship with your best friend to become what it is today? Or if you&#8217;re married, for you and your spouse to get to the point where you could anticipate how the other would react to a situation? It takes time, doesn&#8217;t it? And there&#8217;s no way to compress that time from months into minutes, no matter how hard you try.</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">We know this is true for a variety of relationships, but people often seem to think that a different set of rules is in effect for the relationship between first and second chair leaders. They expect to reach that point of hand-in-glove partnership within a few weeks or months at most. Perhaps they think that this is a &#8220;working relationship&#8221; that is defined around job descriptions. Or perhaps they just feel an urgency that the relationshipo</span><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"> must develop quickly, even if they know that’s not realistic. Unfortunately, having this kind of unrealistic expectation will increase the tension between first and second chairs, not smooth it out.</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">Notice that the need to be patient goes in both directions. A second chair needs to be patient when he/she feels that authority isn&#8217;t being delegated quickly enough or trust isn&#8217;t being given readily enough. A first chair needs to be patient when he/she feels that the second chair isn&#8217;t getting up to speed soon enough. Leaders need to think in terms of calendars not stopwatches, gourmet meals not microwave dinners.</span>
<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">As you think about your own context, can you paint a picture of what the ideal first-second chair relationship would look like? As I talk to leaders in a variety of settings, I hear this ideal expressed in things like:</span>


<ul>
	

<li><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">The second chair anticipates what the first chair needs before he/she even says anything.</span></span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">The first chair truly understands the second chair&#8217;s strengths, and uses them fully.</span></span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">The second chair would be trusted to lead an important meeting if the first chair was called away for a last minute emergency.</span></span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">They can each complete the other&#8217;s sentences.</span></span></li>


</ul>


<span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;">So how are you doing? Do you have a clear picture of your ideal? How close are you to meeting it? If there&#8217;s a big gap, what will you do to shrink it? Part of the answer is to be honest, which is the third bit of advice that I&#8217;ll cover in my next blog.</span>
<em>It&#8217;s easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner by</em><i> </i><a title="Blog sign-up via Feedburner" href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=MikeBonem"><i><span style="color: #0000ff;">clicking here</span></i></a><em>.</em>]]&gt;		</p>The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/be-patient/">Be Patient</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Be a Student</title>
		<link>https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/</link>
					<comments>https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mike]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Dec 2013 11:00:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Great and Godly Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Non-profit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second chair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Team Building]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church consulting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[great and godly leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leadership team]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mike Bonem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[second chair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[student]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://mikebonem.com/?p=1468</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><![CDATA[]]></p>
The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/">Be a Student</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>				<![CDATA[<i><span style="color: #000000;"><span style="color: #000000;"><a href="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/imagesCAJENFLH.jpg"><img decoding="async" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1471" alt="imagesCAJENFLH" src="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/imagesCAJENFLH.jpg" width="264" height="191" /></a></span>In my </span></i><a href="http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=ntcqg8iab&amp;p=oi&amp;m=1109014350445&amp;sit=trxm4isgb&amp;f=a9ce803d-21ff-47df-b768-ac98f173d1cf"><i><span style="color: #0000ff;">November newsletter</span></i></a><i><span style="color: #000000;">, I briefly described three answers that I often give when I hear of tension within a senior leadership team. This blog expands on the first of those answers.</span></i>
<span style="color: #000000;">I don’t know how many times that a second chair leader has confided of a less than ideal relationship with a first chair: “We’re just not on the same page.” They are not saying that the relationship is broken, nor are they saying that their boss is a tyrant. They’re simply saying that the levels of trust and teamwork and shared decision-making are not what they’d like. </span>
<span style="color: #000000;">In these situations, it’s tempting to put all the responsibility on the first chair. After all, he or she is the one who decides how much to delegate to others. But my first bit of advice puts the burden back on the second chair: <i>be a student</i>. Be a student of your first chair leader. The more that you can understand him or her, the better you’ll be able to get on the same page and thrive in the second chair. </span>
<span style="color: #000000;">I remember seeing the counter-example of this played out in on one staff. The first chair led the weekly staff meetings. Some weeks the meetings took all morning, as the team joked and talked and argued, and the first chair joined right in. But other times, it was obvious that he had something else on his mind, and he wanted to finish the meeting quickly. I say it was “obvious,” but apparently it wasn’t to one team member, who wanted to talk and argue just as much on these days. Had he simply been a better student, he would have earned much more respect from the first chair.</span>
<span style="color: #000000;">Here are some questions that a good student asks (and answers) about his or her first chair:</span>


<ul>
	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What kind of news most excites him/her?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What kind of news puts him/her on edge?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What kind of rhythm does he/she prefer in meetings? For example, start with small talk or dive straight into the issue(s)? Send a list of topics in   advance, have a written agenda, or keep it more free flowing?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">Does he/she make decisions quickly or slowly? What factors are most important in these decisions?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What qualifies as “important” information that needs to be communicated immediately?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">How does he/she prefer to receive bad news?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">How far can you run on your own with a major decision? When do you need to check in?</span></li>


	

<li><span style="color: #000000;">What is the best way to earn trust?</span></li>


</ul>


<span style="color: #000000;">I’m sure that you can think of many more questions. Never stop learning &#8211; keep asking and answering.</span>
<span style="color: #000000;">Here’s one final thought: This is a relationship that is not symmetrical – you have to be a student, but you can’t demand that your first chair do likewise. Just do your part, and see how much your relationship improves.</span>
<em>It&#8217;s easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner by</em><i> </i><a title="Blog sign-up via Feedburner" href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=MikeBonem"><i><span style="color: #0000ff;">clicking here</span></i></a><em>.</em>]]&gt;		</p>The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/be-a-student/">Be a Student</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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