leadership | Mike Bonem

Leading High Capacity Leaders

Mike Bonem — Fri, 21 Jun 2024 16:54:30 +0000

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’” “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. (Mark 10:17-22, NIV)

You have undoubtedly preached on, studied, or heard sermons about this passage many times. I wonder, however, if you’ve considered the story of the “rich young man” through a leadership development lens.

The membership of most churches includes people whose leadership abilities or wealth greatly exceed that of their pastor. These women and men have the potential to make substantial contributions, and not just financial, to the well-being of a church. But pastors are often unsure how to relate to them.

This familiar story offers four important insights:

The man “ran up to [Jesus] and fell on his knees before him.” We often think that “successful” people have it all together and don’t have any needs. This couldn’t be further from the truth – they just have different needs and may have learned to keep them hidden. The man in the story reveals a desperation and hunger, something that lies just beneath the surface for many of the successful people in our congregations.
“Jesus looked at him and loved him.” Some ministry leaders have an unconscious (or conscious) resentment or even disdain toward successful people. They may be seen as not giving enough to the church, being out of touch with the plight of normal people, or making fame and fortune their gods. Jesus saw a struggling human being, a child of his Father, and loved him. The rest of Jesus’s response flowed out of that love.
Jesus spoke truth to him. The man said that he had kept the commandments since he was a boy. Today’s equivalent would be someone who said, “I tithe, come to worship whenever I’m in town, live a clean life, and volunteer in a ministry.” So how would you respond? Many pastors today, not wanting to offend a high-capacity leader, would say, “That’s great. Keep it up. Maybe you can add a spiritual discipline as a next step.” Jesus went straight to the heart and spoke the hard truth to the man.
Jesus didn’t run after him. After sharing the truth in love, Jesus allowed the man to make his decision. Jesus didn’t seem concerned about being “rejected” or losing the potential support of a wealthy follower. He trusted that God would send the right people at the right time with the right resources for the work that needed to be done. Sometimes a high-capacity person is God’s gift to your church; at other times you need to let them leave.

How might your ministry change if you related to successful individuals like Jesus did in this story?

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Lead Like Barnabas?

Mike Bonem — Fri, 26 May 2023 11:35:35 +0000

Is your mental model of a leader someone who is high volume, highly visible, and highly visionary? If so, what is your assessment of Barnabas in the book of Acts? Was he a “leader”?

Acts 11 describes the spread of the gospel to the Gentiles in Antioch. As the story continues, “News of this reached the church in Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. … He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord” (Acts 11:22, 24). This brief description checks many of the boxes we often associate with leadership such as being the point person with significant responsibility.

But in the midst of this season of fruitfulness, he does something interesting. “Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch” (Acts 11:25-26). From this point on, Saul/Paul is increasingly in the spotlight and Barnabas is mostly in the background.

This is not how we typically write a leadership script in the western world. Leaders are supposed to continue moving up, right? They’re not expected to step aside, especially not when things are going well. What might we learn from Barnabas?

Know your strengths and your limits. The story in Acts doesn’t say why Barnabas went to Tarsus, but we can assume that he recognized Saul had different gifts that were needed in Antioch. How often do you hold tightly to the leadership reins, even if someone more capable is nearby?
Stay focused on the mission. I believe Barnabas gladly recruited Saul because the mission of spreading the gospel was paramount in his mind. Barnabas was looking to build Christ’s church, not his own. Paul reflected the same theme when he addressed the divisions in Corinth: “No one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 3:11). Does a gospel-centered mission drive your decisions?
Leadership isn’t always what’s happening in the spotlight. Our skewed understanding of leadership downplays the value of what happens off stage. What if Barnabas had stayed in the spotlight in Antioch and never gone to Tarsus to get Saul? This simple unseen act only merits two verses in Scripture, but it was a pivotal moment in the spread of the good news of Jesus. What unseen leadership acts should you be doing?

I suspect that our society will continue to hold up a model of leadership that is based on volume, visibility, and vision. But that shouldn’t keep you from leading more like Barnabas.

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When Leadership Is Puzzling

Mike Bonem — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 08:58:00 +0000

We had the joy of keeping our two grandsons overnight during the Christmas break. One of our activities was working puzzles. Our 4-year old grandson was quite adept at the 60-piece puzzle we had, but we didn’t have anything age appropriate for the 2-year old. Nevertheless, he told us, “I do puzzle.” So I dutifully removed another 60-piece puzzle from the box, intending to give him lots of help. It turned out that he had different ideas. For him, “I do puzzle” simply meant taking the lid off the box and putting it back on.

You may not be working with toddlers, but this story has applications for every leader. It is a vivid reminder of how something can be crystal clear to two people and yet have completely different meanings. For example:

A leadership team may agree that new initiatives are needed to help a church reach young adults. One leader thinks this is a green light for widespread changes in worship and other ministries. Another leader’s understanding is that the church will spend more money on a marketing campaign to attract young adults to existing ministry offerings.
A missions committee discusses the benefits of developing partnerships with local ministries in which church members can be directly involved. At the next meeting, one of the committee members asks how quickly they can shift their funding away from international missions. His question is met with confusion and anger from people who never intended to “shortchange our long-standing commitments.”
An associate pastor says she would be more productive if she had administrative help, and the senior pastor mentions his administrative assistant can provide some support. But he is shocked when the admin is overloaded with tasks from the associate .

Each of these situations, and countless others, could be avoided by asking rather than assuming. The individuals in these stories assumed that “everyone” knows reaching young adults requires significant programming changes or that money needs to follow mission priorities. But rather than assuming, we’d be better off asking, “What does this mean to you?” What does an emphasis on reaching young adults mean to you? What does focusing on local hands-on mission partnerships mean to you? What does “some” administrative support mean to you?

We’d also be better off sharing what it means to us, not to insist that our interpretation is right, but to simply dispel incorrect assumptions that others might be making. I thought “I do puzzle” was universally understood to mean putting all 60 pieces together correctly. It turns out I was wrong. What puzzles might you solve with a simple question and some additional explanations?

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You’re Leading: Is Anyone Following?

Mike Bonem — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 02:11:21 +0000

I was taken aback by the title of another blog: “You are a leader: is it hard to get people to follow?” My negative reaction comes from my deep belief that someone is not a leader if no one is following. A job title does not make someone a leader. Not even if the title is CEO or President or Senior Pastor.

James Kouzes and Barry Posner are blunt in their assessment: “A person with no constituents is not a leader.” They go on to say, “A leader-constituent relationship that’s characterized by fear and distrust will never, ever produce anything of lasting value” (The Leadership Challenge). Fear and distrust are common by-products when leaders are over-reliant on positional authority.

But it’s not enough to state the obvious about leaders and constituents. (I’ll use “constituents” rather than “followers” for the rest of this post.) It’s more important to consider what kind of constituents we’d want to have. The ideal constituents are:

Ready. They don’t have to be cajoled or coerced. They are ready to jump in, and they do so with a simple invitation.
Enthusiastic. One reason they are ready is because they believe deeply in the organization and its mission. They refer to the mission in first person, plural language – it’s our mission, not someone else’s.
Independent. A constituent may not be the leader, but that doesn’t mean they are meek. The best ones have a strong sense of self-identity and agency. They choose to follow, and they will also push back if they disagree with a decision.
Trusting. This is not blind faith, but trust that has been earned over time by the leader. These constituents give the benefit of the doubt when things are not going as planned.

Perhaps you’d name different characteristics for an ideal constituent. Or perhaps you agree and just wish that your constituents had these qualities. What causes someone to be ready, enthusiastic, independent, and trusting?

A great starting point is to be the kind of leader that you’d want to follow. Be a person of integrity, whose consistency of words and actions earns trust. Don’t get defensive when someone disagrees with you, but instead be grateful for their independent thoughts. Bring your own energy into every leadership conversation because you have clarity and passion for the mission. And show that you are ready to roll up your sleeves and do the work.

Before you leave this post, consider your constituents. Do they have these qualities? If they do, be thankful. If not, what steps can you take to change the relationship?

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Resisters Are NOT the Enemy

Mike Bonem — Mon, 18 Jul 2022 18:24:13 +0000

This post is adapted from my new book, The Art of Leading Change: Ten Perspectives on the Messiness of Ministry.

In many arenas of life, we neatly divide people into two groups: friends and foes. Sports pit one team against another. American politics are defined by two opposing parties. So whenever differences of opinion arise in a church or ministry, our tendency is to identify people as “for us” or “against us,” and then label the latter as enemies.

The increased polarization in our society heightens this tendency. Attacking people who think differently than we do has become acceptable. While the church should be acting as a positive influence by showing the world how to handle differences, the sad truth is that society is having a much greater influence on the church. How should we respond to resistance?

The Anatomy of Resistance

Leaders are not called to maintain the status quo. Their job is to lead their organizations toward a more vibrant future. This is especially true in today’s church and ministry contexts, where settling for the status quo is actually a path towards slow death. But whenever change is in the air, resistance is sure to follow.

What is resistance? It is more than a person on the leadership team asking hard questions. This is simply part of the process of thoroughly examining a proposal before making a decision. Nor is it a couple sharing their concerns about a plan with their pastor, which is part of the process for building understanding and buy-in.

Actual resistance can take many forms, ranging from mild to inappropriate and destructive. Some people may speak or vote against a proposed change. Others may pull away from the church—resigning from volunteer roles, ending financial contributions, or moving their membership. While any resistance is disappointing, these actions are within acceptable boundaries.

In more extreme cases, resistance is guided by a political playbook rather than a biblical one. People opposed to a change may share inaccurate or misleading information to influence a decision. They may get personal, attacking the pastor and other leaders by questioning their motives or integrity. If the proposed change is approved, they may actively undermine the implementation to keep it from succeeding.

In light of these unacceptable behaviors, how can I maintain that “resisters are not the enemy”? My assertion is based on two beliefs. The first is that resistance is normal. John Kotter, a leading expert on change, says, “Irrational and political resistance to change never fully dissipates” (Leading Change, p. 132). It would be wonderful if everyone in a church focused on the collective benefits of a proposed change, but individuals tend to look through the lens of “How will this affect me?” If they conclude the personal impact will be negative, they are likely to resist.

My second belief is that the people who are resisting change love their church. They are not trying to harm or destroy it. In fact, they often resist because they believe the proposed change will hurt the church. They may not be right. Their defense of the status quo may be the real danger. But don’t confuse questionable logic with evil motives.

On top of this, when change is in the air, people get anxious. As stress rises, people lose their ability to wrestle with all the facets of complex decisions. Instead, their brains shift into “flight or fight” survival mode. If you find yourself wondering why a church member was acting so “stupid” or “irrational,” remember that this is normal behavior in the anxious swirl of change.

Leaders who try to squelch disagreement under the banner of “Let’s all just get along” often add fuel to the fire of resistance. Churches need to allow healthy conflict in which the pros and cons of a potential change can be prayerfully considered. If debate can’t occur in the open, it doesn’t go away; it just goes underground, where resisters will find plenty of unhealthy and unbiblical models for conflict.

A Pastoral Response to Resistance

What should you do if people who oppose a change are acting like your enemies? Regardless of their intent, a starting point is to take a cue from Christ’s teaching: “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27–28).

It is easy for me to copy and paste these words from an online Bible. It is much more difficult to put them into practice. But consider the alternative. The secular approach to enemies is to keep them at a distance or go to battle, doing whatever is necessary to beat them. That response almost guarantees a tit-for-tat reaction from the person on the other side of the issue. A small difference of opinion can quickly escalate when leaders put on their battle armor. Responding to them in love is the best hope for changing their behavior, even if it doesn’t change their opinions.

In this context, loving the people who resist change means listening to them and demonstrating care for their concerns. Sometimes listening to resisters in love will generate solutions. But even when that doesn’t happen, a loving response often softens their anger and blunts their attack. It really is true that “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Prov 15:1).

Loving and listening to resisters is an important pastoral response, but not the only response. In many cases, the resisters are a small minority. Ministry leaders have a responsibility for the entire flock and for the vision that God is calling the church to pursue. They may need to say, “I hear your concern and understand your pain, but we still believe this is the right change to make.”

A pastoral response is the right way to engage with resistance, and it can alter the trajectory of a change process. But it is not easy. Resistance hurts; there is no way to avoid this. The weight of resistance—the tension, emotion, and conflict—is simply too much for any one leader to carry. That is why God’s words to another leader are important to keep in mind: “Be strong and courageous … for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). When we remember this promise, we can also remember that resisters are not the enemy.

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When the Right Next Step Is Wrong

Mike Bonem — Tue, 10 May 2022 11:33:04 +0000

I like the leadership axiom, “Take the right next step.” The simple phrase encourages action over inaction. It emphasizes intentional movement rather than paralysis by analysis. It acknowledges that we don’t need to know every step before taking the first one. But I had an experience that made me wonder if taking the right next step is always the right thing to do.

I was out of town and had a very early morning flight. I wanted to get as much sleep as possible, so I didn’t allow much margin in my schedule. When my alarm went off, I kept focusing on the next step – shower and get ready, pack my bag, catch the hotel’s airport shuttle, look up my flight status and departure gate while riding to the airport, get through security, and head to the gate with a quick stop for a coffee. As I stood in the long line of travelers waiting to get their caffeine fix, I realized I could have used the order ahead feature on my app. But I had been too focused on the immediate next step to think about this.

This may be a trivial example, but it illustrates an important leadership point. As we take a next step, we should keep our eyes on the overall goal. My goal that morning was to get on my flight with a cup of coffee in my hand. By focusing only on the step directly in front of me, I overlooked a better way to accomplish my goal.

In your context, the overall goal may be your church or ministry’s vision, or it might be the goal for a specific initiative. Are you keeping that in mind as you take your next steps? Examples of a next step being misguided might include:

A goal of launching small groups in which life-on-life discipleship occurs. But recruiting unqualified people in the haste to establish the new groups.
A goal to reach young adults in the community through a new worship service. But consulting with insiders on the design of the service because they’re more accessible.
A goal to provide a life-changing experience on a mission trip. But being so focused on the logistical details that the evening worship services are not planned thoughtfully.

I’m still a fan of taking the right next step. But we need to be clear on what we mean by “right.” It’s not necessarily the step that is quickest or easiest. Instead, it’s the answer to the question, “What step should we take today that will best move us toward our goal?” What’s your right next step today?

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Creating Bandwidth for Creativity

Mike Bonem — Wed, 20 Apr 2022 01:33:42 +0000

Does your role require creativity? If you’re a leader, then I will answer for you with a firm “Yes!” If you think of creativity as the domain of artists, think more broadly. Crafting a powerful sermon or an inspiring message for a leadership team requires creativity and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. So does envisioning a different future for your church or ministry. Or reimagining the roles and interactions for the people on your team. Or revamping a specific ministry to give it new life and increase its impact.

Do you have the bandwidth to do this kind of creative work? Most leaders that I work with would answer “not enough,” especially not over the last two years. Their time is filled with all sorts of meetings and tasks. And when bandwidth is scarce, so is creativity.

This is more than an issue of good time management, which focuses on efficiency. The starting point is to recognize that the bandwidth for creative work is different than for other tasks. Creative work happens as much in the unscheduled spaces as in the intentional blocks of time. For example, the idea for this article came to mind one morning as I was getting ready for the day. For me, these unscheduled spaces for creativity include times when I’m driving, running, or doing mundane errands.

If you’re sensing the need for more creative bandwidth, consider these three ideas:

Don’t cram tasks into every possible space. I could fill my unscheduled moments with “productive” work such as listening to podcasts or making phone calls. But if I do that, I’ll lose the important moments in which free thinking may lead to an important idea.
Limit the number of projects requiring creative thinking. Even if I protect my unscheduled spaces, they are not unlimited. I’ve found that my best results come when I only have 2 to 4 projects requiring creative attention at any one time. I can cycle through this small handful, but with more than this, either something will be ignored or I’ll start to feel overwhelmed. That may mean postponing or delegating the work on other projects.
Schedule your best time for creative work. It’s great to get a fresh idea while brushing my teeth, but I still have to write the article and that requires a block of time. My best creative work is done in the mornings, so that’s when I try to block out time. If I don’t schedule that block, the article won’t be written.

You can judge whether the creative spark for this article was a good one. But more importantly, you should decide how to create the creative bandwidth that you need as a leader.

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Three Leadership Skills to Master in 2022

Mike Bonem — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 03:59:12 +0000

If ministry in this new season calls for a different kind of leadership, what are the skills that leaders need to master? You might think of specific needs, such as building meaningful online connections or responding to the wave of mental health issues. These are certainly important and acute areas to address, but three broader skills will help every leader both now and when we are truly beyond the pandemic:

Listening and learning – we didn’t have all the answers before the pandemic, and we certainly don’t have them now. If you conclude that the lack of answers means you need to work even harder, putting in more hours to discern the best path, you’re setting yourself up for frustration and exhaustion. The more valuable skill is the ability to create and learn from an increasingly diverse circle of people as they offer insights about your context and envision new ways of doing ministry.
Experimenting and failing – many businesses have been successful by making quicker decisions with less-than-perfect information. Their rationale is that a cycle of design-experiment-evaluate-learn will produce better results than a never-ending quest to find an ideal solution. Many ministries are averse to failure, which is more likely with experiments. But before you dismiss the skill of experimenting (and failing), ask yourself if your current approach is really that failure-proof.
Recruiting and empowering – every church and ministry says they need more leaders, but they often mean they need more workers. There’s a big difference. Workers are plugged in to fill spots in established programs. Leaders revamp existing programs and create new ones. If the way forward is uncertain and finding the best path requires experimentation, the burden cannot rest solely on your shoulders. Your church or ministry will need a cadre of leaders who are committed to the mission and who are empowered to try new ideas.

What’s the next step? Gather your leadership team to develop your own list of essential skills. Your list may be completely different than mine. Then begin to develop one or two of these. If listening and learning is at the top of your list, convene groups that can offer meaningful perspectives. Make sure they are not the usual suspects who are always at the leadership table. If experimenting is essential, have a brainstorming session to identify 20 new ministry ideas, then narrow down to the top 5 for experimentation.

It is never easy to go back to the “un-mastery” end of the learning curve, but the subsequent growth can be invigorating. And more importantly, it can be the catalyst that your church or ministry needs in 2022.

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Leading on One Leg

Mike Bonem — Wed, 26 Jan 2022 22:40:52 +0000

When I went to physical therapy to treat a stubborn case of Achilles tendinitis, I didn’t know what to expect. I certainly didn’t know how many of the exercises would involve standing on one leg. Those exercises taught me a lot about the human body and leadership.

What did I learn?

Simple exercises are harder than they look. One exercise was to stand on a step on one leg, and bend my knee, gradually lowering my body until the heel on the other foot lightly touched the ground below the step. When the therapist showed me the exercise, I thought, “This will be easy.” But I discovered that the balance and strength required to complete 15 repetitions made it quite difficult. How often do we underestimate the complexity of a leadership task, either one we plan to do or that we assign to someone else?
Under-use of other muscles caused my problem. The exercise described above, and many of the others in my PT regimen, did not involve my Achilles tendon. When I asked the therapist about this, he explained that I needed to strengthen other muscles. The weakness in those muscles had put extra strain on my Achilles. I was particularly surprised at this, because I am a runner and consider my legs to be very strong. But those one-legged exercises showed that certain muscles were under-used. It’s good to lead from our strengths – up to a point. We also need to be aware how under-developed capabilities may lead to future problems.
Improvement takes time and effort. I began running again after six PT sessions, and was released after ten sessions. But the work was not over. Those one-legged and other exercises to strengthen my under-used muscles will continue indefinitely. I don’t enjoy doing them, but it’s a small price to pay if it allows me to run again without pain or injury. As leaders, we’re often tempted to believe that a conference or book or program will instantly solve our problems. But lasting solutions always require significant work.

I am thankful to be running again. I haven’t built back up to the distances I was running before my injury, but I think I’ll get there if I keep doing my one-legged exercises. What exercises will help you lead well in the next season?

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Flying Beyond the Storm

Mike Bonem — Tue, 05 Oct 2021 14:57:54 +0000

Imagine that you’re flying across the country for a big family reunion. You’re thrilled that you’ll be able to see your parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews. You’ll get to meet the newest family members – a 6-month old baby and your cousin’s new spouse – for the first time. In the middle of the long flight, you hear the pilot’s voice: “Folks, there’s a storm ahead. We’re just going to turn around and go back to our originating city to wait it out.” You’d be confused and angry. Sure, it’s not fun to fly through a storm, but planes do it all the time, and they can often adjust their route to avoid the worst weather. Changes in the flight plan are appropriate, but giving up makes no sense at all.

Pastors and ministry leaders thought the storm of covid would be mostly over by now. Early in the summer, when cases had declined significantly, they felt encouraged and hopeful as they planned for the fall. When the pandemic came roaring back, it created a new wave of uncertainty about how to proceed. There are many perspectives about the “right way” to do ministry in the current season, but that is not my purpose in writing. Instead, I want to look further into the future.

Just like the imaginary airplane flight in the first paragraph, there is a future for your church on the other side of the covid storm. So what is your job right now?

Be clear about the destination. The person boarding the plane for a family reunion has a specific city to reach. In the same way, you should be as clear as possible about God’s preferred future for the church or ministry you lead. This task doesn’t fall solely on your shoulders – it’s a job for the entire leadership team. When people can see an exciting destination, they’re more willing to work hard to get there and to endure some storms along the way.
Adjust, but don’t turn around. Of course the pilot should make adjustments to avoid flying through the middle of a storm. You should do the same. We’re all tired of changing plans, but that is our current reality. And there is an upside. Every adjustment is an opportunity to reinforce the vision. It’s a chance to ask, “In light of these obstacles, how can we best become who God wants us to be?” That is a much better response than giving up.
Instill confidence. When a plane is heading into turbulent weather, the calm and confident voice of a pilot is reassuring. In the same way, the challenges of this season create a tremendous leadership opportunity. People are looking for leaders who are honest and realistic about the difficulties ahead, and who are also confident that, with God’s help, the church will prevail and emerge even stronger. Don’t waste the chance to be that leader.

What is your leadership flight plan?

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