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	<title>criticism | Mike Bonem</title>
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	<title>criticism | Mike Bonem</title>
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		<title>Hearing Clearly, Leading Effectively</title>
		<link>https://mikebonem.com/hearing-clearly/</link>
					<comments>https://mikebonem.com/hearing-clearly/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mike]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Jan 2020 12:36:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Great and Godly Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hearing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[input]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leader]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listening]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://mikebonem.com/?p=3277</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I recently had an important videoconference with the board of directors of a ministry that I’ve been working with. I connected early, and the technology seemed to be working.</p>
The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/hearing-clearly/">Hearing Clearly, Leading Effectively</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></description>
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<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="alignleft"><img decoding="async" src="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Hearing-clearly-300x200.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3276"/></figure></div>



<p>I recently had an important videoconference with
the board of directors of a ministry that I’ve been working with. I connected
early, and the technology seemed to be working. But when the board members
began talking, they all sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. I heard voices,
but they might as well have been saying “wah, wah, wah.” A few minutes later,
several remote microphones were placed on the table, and the words instantly
become clear. It turns out that all of the sound had been going through a single
microphone on a computer that was 20 feet away.&nbsp;</p>



<p>As a leader, you know it’s important to listen to
others. But are you creating the right conditions so that you can hear their
input? You may respond, “I’m open to input. I make myself available.” But is
your availability like the single computer microphone that I encountered at the
start of my call? It would have been ridiculous to ask each board member to
walk up to the computer and lean into the microphone whenever they wanted to
talk. Have you unintentionally created a similar dynamic?</p>



<p>Here are 3 questions to help you improve the
quality of your listening:</p>



<ul class="wp-block-list"><li><em>Are you inviting the right people to speak?</em> The best input comes from a diversity of perspectives. If you’re
     surrounded by people who think just like you, or who always want to please
     you, then you probably need to set out a few more “microphones.”&nbsp;</li><li><em>Is your invitation genuine?</em> Many people are reluctant
     to offer constructive criticism, either out of respect for the leader or
     fear of an adverse reaction. When asking for input, stress that you want
     complete and honest feedback. And then don’t get defensive when someone
     takes you at your word and offers a candid response.&nbsp;</li><li><em>Are you allowing enough time?</em>&nbsp;People who feel rushed
     are less likely to speak. They may need time to process their thoughts.
     They may be waiting for someone else to go first. Or they may infer that a
     quick feedback step is just a facade for a decision that has already been
     made.&nbsp;</li></ul>



<p>In my videoconference,&nbsp;I quickly knew that
there was a problem. In your case, the issues are likely to be more subtle. So
use these questions to assess whether you need to pause long enough to add
remote microphones.&nbsp; </p>



<p><em>It&#8217;s
easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner by</em><em>&nbsp;</em><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=MikeBonem"><em>clicking here</em></a><em>.</em></p>


<p>]]&gt;</p>The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/hearing-clearly/">Hearing Clearly, Leading Effectively</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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			</item>
		<item>
		<title>Loving Criticism</title>
		<link>https://mikebonem.com/loving-criticism/</link>
					<comments>https://mikebonem.com/loving-criticism/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mike]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Jun 2019 14:12:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Great and Godly Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Measurement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adam Grant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[failure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leader]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ministry]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://mikebonem.com/?p=3181</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p><![CDATA[]]></p>
The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/loving-criticism/">Loving Criticism</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<![CDATA[
<div class="wp-block-image"><figure class="alignleft"><img decoding="async" src="http://mikebonem.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/diver-800x532-300x200.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-3161"/></figure></div>


<p>One of Adam Grant’s “WorkLife” podcasts has the
intriguing title, “<a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/worklife_with_adam_grant_dear_billionaire_i_give_you_a_d_minus?language=en&amp;referrer=playlist-worklife_with_adam_grant">How
to Love Criticism</a>.” It begs the question, “Can we really <em>love</em> criticism?” During one segment,
Grant describes being a competitive diver in high school. He had learned a new
dive, and was confident that he had nailed it in a competition, only to get
scores of 2 or less from the judges. Grant commented, “It’s hard to have a
realistic assessment of how you’re doing when you‘re twisting and flipping in
the air.”&nbsp;</p>


<p>That statement sounds like the reality for most
church and ministry leaders. The very nature of ministry today puts leaders in
places where they are twisting and flipping. The things that they learned in
their formal training or that have worked in the past are no longer effective.
New pressures and attacks come from many directions, both internal and
external.&nbsp;</p>


<p>So let me offer three observations about leaders
who are twisting and flipping. First, accept the truth in the quote. It’s difficult
to be a good judge of your effectiveness when you’re in the middle of a
difficult leadership moment. So find people that you trust who will give
honest, loving, helpful feedback, preferably before you do a belly flop.</p>


<p>Second, it would have been a mistake for Grant to
quit doing this dive just because he “failed” once. The low scores from the
judges were a learning opportunity. The same is true for you. When things don’t
go well, don’t give up. Use your failures as opportunities to learn.</p>


<p>Finally, Grant’s observation about assessing one’s
own dive is only partly true. Olympic level divers have a good idea when
they’ve nailed the dive, and when they’ve missed. But this kind of awareness
only comes with hours of practice. So be willing to do the hard work of leadership
so that you can nail it often and know when you’ve made a mistake.&nbsp;</p>


<p><em>It&#8217;s easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner
by</em><em>&nbsp;</em><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=MikeBonem"><em>clicking here</em></a><em>.</em></p>
]]&gt;The post <a href="https://mikebonem.com/loving-criticism/">Loving Criticism</a> first appeared on <a href="https://mikebonem.com">Mike Bonem</a>.]]></content:encoded>
					
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