Start from trust. If you have a positive relationship with your boss, then she should trust that you have her best interests at heart when you’re giving feedback. If she thinks that you’re trying to harm her, the conversation will quickly turn south.
Build on a common foundation. You and your boss both want the organization to thrive, so show how your feedback relates to this mutual goal. If the feedback is self-serving, it will have much less impact.
Be objective. Use factual information as much as possible in giving feedback. To say that your boss didn’t review a document by an agreed-upon time is factual. To say that he didn’t care about the inconvenience you experienced due to this lack of review is just a guess that can lead to fruitless debate.
Don’t embarrass. It’s obvious that giving negative feedback in front of other people is embarrassing and will lead to defensiveness. The same is true if you use “we” language in giving the feedback, as in “we’ve all been disappointed that you cancelled the last two team meetings.” Using “we” may help you feel less alone, but it tells your boss that you and your colleagues have been griping behind her back.
Be willing to postpone. If you realize that your boss isn’t in the right frame of mind to hear the feedback, it’s OK to postpone. Even if you’ve started the conversation, you can always say, “Let’s come back to this later.”
Everyone has blind spots. If your church or ministry or non-profit is going to live up to its potential, your boss needs your feedback. And if you’re reading this as a “boss,” I hope you’ll encourage those who work for you to speak up, for your benefit and for theirs.
* PerformanceCompass is interactive seminar in which participants learn how to have positive and productive conversations about performance issues.
Click here for more information.
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Mike
