A Pile of Sticks

For some reason, the tree next to our driveway sheds sticks in the spring. The tree is actually just over the property line in our neighbor’s yard, but the prevailing south winds mean that we end up with quite a few sticks and small branches on our side. Since it’s an equitable tree, it also rains sticks on the neighbor’s yard. That’s why I was suspicious when I saw a small pile of sticks, next to the fence on our side of the property line. I hadn’t put the sticks there, so the obvious conclusion was to blame my neighbor and to wonder how he could be so inconsiderate or brazen. A few days later, he saw me and explained that he had put the sticks there temporarily until he had a chance to bag them up. You might argue that he was in the wrong, even temporarily, but the part that I’m most concerned about is how quickly my thoughts about him went negative. It’s a perfect example of the “fundamental attribution error,” where we make negative character assumptions about a person who doesn’t meet our standards or expectations. (My blog a couple of years ago explains the term further.) If you work with people – and that’s everyone reading this – there will be times when they let you down. You may have little control over the actions of the other person that cause your disappointment, but you have complete control over how you react. Is it fair for you to shift from a single incident to a broad character assumption? In my case, the shift was clearly inappropriate. Our neighbor has lived there for three years. During that time, he has always been kind and considerate. I didn’t have an easy explanation for the pile of sticks, but that didn’t justify the stories, and accompanying character flaws, that I made up as a result. Is there someone at work who you would describe in negative terms (lazy, disrespectful, rude, overbearing)? Is your basis for this description more than just a pile of sticks? It’s easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner by clicking here.]]>