They listen more than they talk. Some “advisers” see their primary role as dispensing wise counsel. While this is appropriate at times, a leader often needs to talk to untangle his or her thoughts. A conversation partner creates the space where a leader can do that.
They ask more than they answer. Conversation partners have mastered the use and timing of questions such as “Why do you believe that?” Even when asked, “What do you think?” conversation partners are likely to respond with a question. Their use of questions helps a leader look deeper into his or her soul.
They are more “outside” than “inside.” This characteristic relates somewhat to the conversation partner’s relationship with the organization, but it’s more about a mindset. They may have knowledge of the organization (in fact, that’s helpful) but they don’t bring biases or vested interests into the conversation.
They are utterly safe and trusted. The best conversation partners are those with whom a leader can share any and all difficulties or struggles without a fear that these will be disclosed. Being an “outsider” can help establish this safety.
In some of the healthiest organizations, the conversation partner is another member of the leadership team. Even though this person is an “insider,” he or she has learned to set aside personal agendas and is able to fill this vital role. In many other cases, the conversation partner is a long-time friend, a colleague, or a coach.
How would a conversation partner benefit your leadership? Do you have that person in your life? If not, what will you do to find someone who will enter into this rich and meaningful relationship?
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Mike
