Character Slips

did miss a deadline; not he is undependable. She did come to rehearsal without her music; not she is irresponsible. The “be” verbs are sure indicators that you’re slipping into assumptions about character. People will continue to disappoint you. How will you respond?   People disappoint us. They make mistakes or don’t do what we expected them to do. It’s the nature of being human. When they make mistakes or fall short, it causes problems – such as extra work or embarrassment – for the organization and for you as the leader. But that’s not the real problem. The real problem is often how you respond. You see, we can agree that everyone makes mistakes, even you (and me). And I’m sure that you want your mistakes to be treated as just that – one-time slips that deserve no more than a quick reprimand and a generous serving of grace. You don’t want others to assume that your mistake is due to a deeper personal flaw. On the other hand, when the people that you’re leading make the same mistake, you may quickly slip into assumptions about their character. They don’t complete a project on time, so you conclude that they’re undependable. Their document has several typos, so you label them as irresponsible. They miss a meeting with you, which shows that they’re disrespectful. The slip into character assumptions happens in the blink of an eye. How can you prevent this slip? Start by building positive relationships. The better the underlying relationship, the less likely you are to draw negative conclusions about their character. When disappointments occur, think in terms of what he “did” rather than what he “is.” He did miss a deadline; not he is undependable. She did come to rehearsal without her music; not she is irresponsible. The “be” verbs are sure indicators that you’re slipping into assumptions about character. People will continue to disappoint you. How will you respond? This is just one part of my PerformanceCompass seminar. If you want to learn more about how to effectively address performance issues in those you lead, click here. It’s easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner by clicking here.    ]]>