Are You Making Unforced Errors?

When is the last time you were told something, only to later discover the person’s actions didn’t match their words? You proposed a new ministry idea to the mission committee chair, and even though they expressed support, they never brought it up with the committee. Or the finance team voted unanimously to approve your proposed budget, but you later learned that one person from the team told several church members that the budget was “unrealistic.” (My earlier blog, “Are You Sending Mixed Messages?” describes how we can unintentionally be guilty of similar behavior.)

Our natural human tendency is to label the person as an opponent – as unsupportive or two-faced or even malicious. But they may be none of those things. Rather than labeling them as evil, we should give them the benefit of the doubt and explore our contribution to the problem.

In tennis and other sports, an unforced error is when the player loses a point due to their own mistake, not because of a great shot by their opponent. Similarly, many difficult leadership situations are not the result of powerful opponents but are caused by unforced errors. So how can you avoid unforced errors in your leadership?

• Slow down. Rushing to make a decision or to obtain approval cuts off the opportunity for people to ask questions for clarification or voice concerns. This in turn increases the likelihood that their frustration will leak out in some form of non-compliance.
• Listen fully. The best listeners pay attention to body language and tone of voice. They know what is not said can be just as important as what is said. The person who remains silent in the finance team meeting may be more vocal outside the meeting. What can you “hear” without using your ears? 
• Ask more questions. Seek responses from people who are reluctant to speak. Ask questions such as, “What is unclear to you?” “What would you need to know to support this idea?” “You’ve been quiet. I’d like to know what you’re thinking?” “Do you agree with where we’re headed?” You may discover that “opposition” is really just a case of incomplete information.
• Invite questions. It is difficult to encourage people to challenge your ideas. But it is far better to hear differing perspectives directly than to deal with the problems that arise when disagreement leaks out later. Simply stating that you want to hear any concerns or that you don’t want to proceed without support can open the door for a needed conversation.
• Be more sensitive. Leaders also need to be sensitive to 3 D’s: differentials in power, deference to clergy, and dynamics in a group. Any of these three factors can squelch the conversation and pave the way for misunderstanding or quiet resistance. Leaders who know how to “read the room” pay attention to these 3 D’s.

Tennis players know that perfection is impossible, but they constantly seek to improve. You cannot avoid all unforced leadership errors and the confusion or opposition that follows. But you can continue to develop your leadership “game” so that you make fewer unforced errors and more winning shots.