Mike
Always a Critic
On Easter Sunday, I was a visitor in a church where I had never worshiped before. I had absolutely no responsibilities, so it was a great opportunity for me to simply worship God and celebrate the good news of the empty tomb.
And yet, I found myself slipping into the role of the silent critic. The sound was a bit out of balance and distorted. One unofficial greeter was far too friendly, and the others didn’t notice me. The associate pastor explained key elements of the service so that an unchurched person wouldn’t be uncomfortable (which was good), but his explanations were too long.
While all of this may be 100% accurate, the real question is, “Why couldn’t I just engage in worship and enjoy the day? I don’t know all the answers to this question, but I know that the inner critic inside of me always seems ready to jump out. Is the same true for you?
That inner critic has some redeeming qualities. He has good insights and wants to make things better. He doesn’t offer his opinions maliciously (at least not on his good days), but truly seeks the best for the church or ministry, and offers his feedback to bring about improvement. If you press him, the inner critic will say, “Yes, it was good, but it could be great.”
The problem is that the critic can cause almost anyone to feel beaten down and inadequate. He can make a “factual” observation and move on as if it’s no big deal, but the person on the receiving end may crumple in defeat. Because there is always room for improvement, complements from the critic are rare. People cringe when he asks for permission to share his perspective.
So why am I writing this blog? It’s partly cathartic and confessional. And it’s a caution to others who harbor an inner critic. My feedback to you is to be more aware of how your input affects others. I’m also writing for those who tend to be on the receiving end. Remember the critic has good intentions, but don’t let them wear you down. You might forward this blog to your biggest critic and invite them into a conversation about how you can relate differently.
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