The Hardest Conversation

First, Break All the Rules, Marcus Buckingham reports his discovery that some corporate managers “are so overwhelmed … that they avoid the issue altogether.” But he goes on to say that the long-term effect of this avoidance is “like wrapping pristine bandages around an infected wound.” Fear and avoidance grows exponentially in ministry settings. For starters, ministry leaders are adept at coming up with justifications for not having the conversation. They may focus on “grace,” or they may argue that the person is “doing his/her best.” Therefore, “we shouldn’t try to correct them.” In addition, the perceived consequences of mishandling the conversation are high. The person on the receiving end is connected to other staff and to members. If he or she feels mistreated and talks about it, the leader faces the very real prospect of angry phone calls or even contributions being withheld. A third reason that ministry leaders avoid difficult performance conversations is a lack of skills. Regardless of where they were educated or what degrees they have, they have rarely been trained in how these conversations can be handled positively and productively. You may wonder if “positive” can be used in the same sentence with “performance redirection,” but there is a concrete set of skills that leaders can master to improve their effectiveness in these situations. That’s why I’m excited to partner with The RAD Group to create and offer a ministry-specific version of their highly effective PerformanceCompass training seminar. This interactive experience is designed to teach ministry leaders how to step up and positively redirect another person’s inadequate performance. More information on PerformanceCompass is here. Even with training, you’ll still have sweaty palms before a hard conversation, and you may be tempted to put it off. Rather than kicking the can down the road, I hope that you’ll focus on the very important reasons for having the conversation. It truly is better for the individual to be told if there are performance concerns. It’s not fair to withhold that information. But beyond that, your ministry is called to make an eternal difference in people’s lives, and that’s a calling that can’t be achieved if people are under-performing. Let that awareness motivate you to step up to the hard conversation that you need to have today. It’s easy to receive my blogs by email. Just sign-up on Feedburner by clicking here.]]>