Mike 
In my November newsletter, I briefly described three answers that I often give when I hear of tension within a senior leadership team. This blog expands on the second of those answers.
How long did it take for the relationship with your best friend to become what it is today? Or if you’re married, for you and your spouse to get to the point where you could anticipate how the other would react to a situation? It takes time, doesn’t it? And there’s no way to compress that time from months into minutes, no matter how hard you try.
We know this is true for a variety of relationships, but people often seem to think that a different set of rules is in effect for the relationship between first and second chair leaders. They expect to reach that point of hand-in-glove partnership within a few weeks or months at most. Perhaps they think that this is a “working relationship” that is defined around job descriptions. Or perhaps they just feel an urgency that the relationshipo must develop quickly, even if they know that’s not realistic. Unfortunately, having this kind of unrealistic expectation will increase the tension between first and second chairs, not smooth it out.
Notice that the need to be patient goes in both directions. A second chair needs to be patient when he/she feels that authority isn’t being delegated quickly enough or trust isn’t being given readily enough. A first chair needs to be patient when he/she feels that the second chair isn’t getting up to speed soon enough. Leaders need to think in terms of calendars not stopwatches, gourmet meals not microwave dinners.
As you think about your own context, can you paint a picture of what the ideal first-second chair relationship would look like? As I talk to leaders in a variety of settings, I hear this ideal expressed in things like:
- The second chair anticipates what the first chair needs before he/she even says anything.
- The first chair truly understands the second chair’s strengths, and uses them fully.
- The second chair would be trusted to lead an important meeting if the first chair was called away for a last minute emergency.
- They can each complete the other’s sentences.
